Shock as Man Tells True Reason He’s ‘Devastated’ by How Co-Worker Sees Wife

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The parents of a man who said “it’s great” that his wife “doesn’t talk much anymore” have been criticized by users on Reddit.

In a post shared under the username Any-Bag-6752, the husband also said a co-worker told him he was “lucky” that his wife is “quiet” because he could enjoy a “calm Friday” rather than dealing “with his loud kids and his shrew wife.”

The user said: “I’m devastated because my wife ISN’T quiet. At least she didn’t use to be. My wife was a chatterbox. She’s incredibly intelligent and curious and I swear she’s learned about everything.

“But I’ve noticed that she doesn’t talk much anymore. Our house was filled with her chatter. There would only be a couple of quiet hours of her reading. Now it’s long stretches of silence,” the husband said.

Man comforts sad woman on sofa.
A man comforting a woman looking distraught on a sofa. A post about a husband “devastated” to see his wife being “quiet” over the past year has gone viral on Reddit.
iStock/Getty Images Plus

While the exact reasons for the seemingly sudden silence from the wife in the latest Reddit post are unclear, silence in a relationship may not necessarily be a bad thing, according to a September 2014 study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the official journal for the Society for Personality and Social Psychology in the US

The study found that silences or delays in communication in “close relationships” may be “ironically beneficial.” The study said: “When a relationship is perceived as secure, partners may believe that ‘no words are needed’ to understand each other.”

Nevertheless, communication is crucial in a relationship and can potentially reflect marital satisfaction, according to a March 2016 study in the peer-reviewed Journal of Marriage and Family, which stated: “Communication occupies a central role in models of relationship deterioration, as intimate bonds are believed to remain strong to the extent that partners respond with sensitivity to one another.”

The study found “that more satisfied spouses showed more positive, less negative, and more effective communication.”

The husband in the latest Reddit post said: “I made a comment about the Queen of England dying. She said it was sad for the English and her son would be king. That’s it. This is someone who talked about Ireland’s struggle for independence for 30 minutes without stopping. The person who learned Latin to translate Roman empire texts. The person who took astrophysics courses for fun…”

He doesn’t know when she started to speak less but said it’s been going on for at least a year and he’s “kicking” himself as he “didn’t…notice until now.”

The husband said: “I mentioned it once to my family who don’t understand what the big deal is. They think it’s great that she doesn’t talk anymore.

“She’s still the same loving, smiling person. She just doesn’t talk about anything anymore. I miss it. I don’t even know how to bring it up to her,” he said.

Several Redditors slammed the user’s “terrible” parents and urged the husband to talk to his wife about her sudden quietness.

In a comment that got 3,100 upvotes, user RiteTrNClyde said: “If your family thinks it’s great she doesn’t talk anymore, could it be that some things were said to her over time that you hadn’t noticed? If you’re around your family often it could be that they’ve picked at her enough times she became discouraged…”

RiteTrNClyde added the wife may “view your parents as an extension of you (people you love) and those subtleties carry weight…Please, talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and ask her if there is something you’ve been missing.”

The husband replied: “My parents don’t really love her. They think she’s saccharine (or whatever the word for too sweet is) and too talkative and too happy. My parents are reserved. They don’t spend too much time with me wife because they say it’s exhausting but they’ll happily come over for her cooking.”

In a comment that got 1,700 upvotes, user BodaciousBonnie said: “So they [user’s parents] hate everything about who she is other than what she can give them (her cooking) and you haven’t noticed this has degraded her into, essentially, a different personality, in a year? Might be time to a) talk to your wife and TELL her how much you love her chatter, and b) bones the f**k up with your family and get them in line or away from her.”

User HodorsHotPie said the user’s family “sounds like a bunch of s*** heads. Worse, they are TAKERS, too. Exhausted? Over what? Having someone with a more positive energy around? God, they are terrible.”

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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