Illustration. Photographed by Mascot
- A woman shares that she is excited to marry her closeted gay best friend.
- Their immigrant parents arranged their marriage when they were children.
- She says her best friend would be cut off and even physically hurt if he came out.
Marrying your best friend is every woman’s dream because it means you get to spend the rest of your life with someone you truly love.
However, this woman took marrying her best friend to another level by getting engaged to her closeted gay best friend who’s from a conservative home. She says she has a plan for having children and knows everything will work out for them.
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Taking to Reddit, the 20-year-old anonymous woman shared that she’s marrying a gay man, and she doesn’t care. She began by giving readers a background story about her culture. “I come from a culture where it’s very normal for your parents to set you up with a marriage partner.”
She continued to share that her parents and her fiancé’s parents have been family friends since they migrated to America years ago. “Both families had decided to marry us off to each other pretty much since my birth. My fiancé and I pretty much grew up together because of this,” she adds.
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The woman also added that not only is the guy her best friend, he’s also her soulmate and her ride or die. “Here’s the thing, though, he’s gay. He’s known since he was 11 years old. He told me when I was 14, and he was 16,” she adds. She says because of his sexuality, the fiancé is guaranteed to be cut off, bashed and even physically hurt if he ever came out.
The pair always knew they would get married, so they began putting together a plan.
“We’ll get married, we’ll go on dates and be the perfect couple for our families, but in reality, he’s my best friend who will now be my roommate for life. We’ll lie and say I’m infertile and suffer through one wedding kiss, pursue our own relationships, and no one’s going to know.”
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She added that she and her best friend would not be moving in together until they tie the knot, and they are both very excited even though it is not an ideal situation. “It sucks that it has to be this way, but at least we’re stuck together. We are going to be married off to each other anyways. We don’t have a choice. This is just the best we can do,” she adds.
Redditors rushed to the comment section in support of her decision, with one saying, “I think there’s nothing wrong with people getting into platonic marriages; the deep bond between the two people is usually still there. They just don’t have sex.”
Another added that the situation is ideal for her, “This honestly sounds amazing. It makes me want to marry my gay friend too.”
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The question is if platonic marriages work out. Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini spoke to Fox26 News, saying, “They work really well if you have a child… and don’t want to worry about your partner stepping out on you. You want someone who works with you.
“These marriages are really good at sharing the load because they are not using intimacy as a weapon; they are in love with their best friend, and so they are careful about doing their fair share, so it works great for co-parenting.” Mary Jo says.
In order to succeed at this kind of arrangement, Mary Jo suggests considering the following:
– Communication and being open with your partner is going to be the best chance of survival or keeping the friendship even if the relationship ends.
– You have to be open and honest about your expectations.
– You need to be honest about what intimacy you need from your best friend and what you are ready to let go of, and understand that we change.
– How you feel when you first get married might not be how you feel later in the relationship.