Finding love can be a challenging journey, and we may not always know what to say or how to present ourselves on dates, which is why the advice of dating and relationship coach, Louanne Ward, can come in handy.
In a video posted to her Instagram account, Ward shared her advice in hopes of educating others not to do the same the next time they embark on a date.
The dating coach lays out 5 mistakes that can ruin a first date.
“So, do you want to turn someone off on a date? If you do one of these five things, it’s definitely a turn-off,” Ward starts her video.
1. Fishing for compliments.
Ward claims that inferring to your date that you want to be complimented means that you’re seeking validation, which can be a turn-off.
“It shows that you’re insecure and you want to be the center of attention,” she explains. “It’s not attractive.”
2. Avoiding answering questions and deflecting the question back onto your date.
Ward assures viewers that they do not have to answer every question their date asks them if they wish not to.
However, avoiding all questions and asking your date the same ones without providing them with an answer can be a turn-off.
“Not being an open book and playing fairly and expecting the other person to tell you everything when you’re not prepared to open up to them, it’s not good dating etiquette,” she says.
3. Using your date as a therapist.
We all have bad days and need to vent every now and then, but Ward advises against dumping all of your issues onto your date.
“Nobody wants to hear about all your problems,” she says. “If you spend the date talking about all the s–-t in your life, nobody wants to hear how bad your life is. You don’t need to air your dirty laundry on a date.”
4. Putting yourself down.
Ward compares this habit of negative self-talk to fishing for compliments, but describes it as the “next level.”
“Putting yourself down so somebody has to be constantly pulling you up is exhausting and it’s no fun for the other person,” she explains.
People want to enjoy themselves on a date, they don’t want to be put in a position where they constantly have to reassure the other person that they constantly dwell on their shortcomings.
5. Butting in when your date is speaking or trying to change the subject.
When someone is trying to tell you something, it is rude to talk over them or turn the conversation in a different direction.
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It makes them feel as if they are not being heard, and that their story is insignificant to you.
Dates should be exciting and a time to catch up and unwind with someone whose company you enjoy.
Next time you go on a date, keep Ward’s advice tucked into the back of your mind and avoid the mistakes that can easily turn the event into a disaster.
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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.