DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN we first got together, the fact my girlfriend was a virgin and wanted to take things slow didn’t bother me.
But now I’m beginning to feel that the lack of sex is affecting our relationship.
She’s 22, I’m 26 and we’ve been an item for just over a year.
From the beginning, she made it clear that she would not rush into sex.
She told me one of her friends had quite a traumatic first time and bled a lot.
I think that’s scared her, and every time we’re about to go all the way, she panics and asks to stop.
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I don’t want to hurt her, and I understand her fears. But I also feel like this is limiting how close we are.
How do I reassure her and make her feel comfortable enough to take this next step?
DEIDRE SAYS: Many girls fear their first time is going to be painful.
But as long as you both make sure she is fully aroused, the most she should feel is a little discomfort.
She may bleed a little as the hymen (a thin tissue at the opening of the vagina) stretches.
I’m sending you my pack, First Time Fears, which should help reassure her.