My girlfriend’s a virgin and the lack of sex is affecting our relationship

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN we first got together, the fact my girlfriend was a virgin and wanted to take things slow didn’t bother me.

But now I’m beginning to feel that the lack of sex is affecting our relationship.

1

She’s 22, I’m 26 and we’ve been an item for just over a year.

From the beginning, she made it clear that she would not rush into sex.

She told me one of her friends had quite a traumatic first time and bled a lot.

I think that’s scared her, and every time we’re about to go all the way, she panics and asks to stop.

I don’t want to hurt her, and I understand her fears. But I also feel like this is limiting how close we are.

How do I reassure her and make her feel comfortable enough to take this next step?

DEIDRE SAYS: Many girls fear their first time is going to be painful.

But as long as you both make sure she is fully aroused, the most she should feel is a little discomfort.

She may bleed a little as the hymen (a thin tissue at the opening of the vagina) stretches.

I’m sending you my pack, First Time Fears, which should help reassure her.