IF you are single, you will know what the term ghosting means.
And if you don’t, it’s basically when someone completely ignores you.
Ghosting is a relatively new colloquial dating term that refers to abruptly cutting off contact with someone without giving that person any warning or explanation for doing so.
Ghosting is generally seen as bad manners, a nasty thing for someone to do.
But relationship coach and TikTok star Jake Maddock doesn’t agree, and thinks it’s actually something that singletons should do more often if they aren’t feeling a connection.
According to Jake, ghosting lets you move on efficiently and effectively, and to win the dating game that’s what you need to do.
If you’ve been dating for a while, you’ll know it’s not always the friendliest place.
For many, the search for “the one” is a harsh and unforgiving road – as the months or years go by, many people may ask themselves, “will I ever find them?”
For relationship coach, Jake Maddock, ghosting is something that more people should do where necessary.
Jake explained: “The world has become so soft and pathetic that if someone ghosts you, if they don’t respond to your messages, everyone breaks down and has panic attacks while crying themselves to sleep.
“We all suffer the world’s “slings and arrows” quite well in our day-to-day lives – we miss out in a job interview, an audition or a freelance project pitch.
“We don’t make our sales targets and get told to step up. We’re asked to redo a presentation, email or document.
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“Ghosting is kinder – a short, sharp cut without the usual dressing down or listing of your faults.”
According to Jake, here are the five reasons why ghosting is actually necessary.
You don’t owe them an explanation
If you’ve only been on a handful of dates with someone, Jake believes that you don’t owe them an explanation as to why you don’t want to see them again.
According to Jake: “If you go on a date with someone and you don’t like them, you don’t owe them an explanation on why.
“If you don’t like someone, you don’t need a reason.
“If they are so sensitive that they can’t stand it when someone doesn’t like them, then they have a lot of personal issues to work out.
“They need to develop a sense of resilience and intestinal fortitude and that is not your problem.”
You don’t have time
If you are a dater, you’ll know that finding Mr or Mrs Right takes time – as a result, Jake thinks that you don’t have time to give people a long-winded reason why you aren’t interested.
Jake explained: “Finding your ideal partner will take time and hard work.
“It’s not supposed to be easy. You may have to go on 50 to 100 first dates to find that ideal person for you.
“Having to have a long-winded sympathetic conversation with every guy or girl you don’t like would be a massive waste of time, so don’t feel bad ghosting someone.
“You are helping that person become more resilient and grow some thicker skin and you are saving yourself some time in the process.
“Remember, every minute you waste with the wrong person is a minute stolen from your ideal partner, the time you have is limited, stop wasting it!”
People need to grow up
According to this relationship expert, people need to develop emotional maturity and should stop being offended by ghosting.
Jake continued: “A common phrase I hear is, “but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”
“Listen, if he is such a sensitive little boy or girl that they can’t handle it if another person doesn’t like them then he definitely isn’t your ideal partner anyway.
“He isn’t in his masculine energy. She isn’t in her feminine energy.
“And either way, they need to develop some emotional maturity.
“The majority of people I coach are people pleasers.
“If you are a people-pleaser then you are going to find yourself in a lot of terrible relationships because you don’t have the strength to say NO.”
Start saying no
Jake explains that people need to start being brave and doing what’s right for them.
The relationship expert added: “Life is a reflection of what we allow.
“High value people let good things into their lives; low value people let in tons of garbage and that’s why their life is garbage.
“Stop saying yes to everything! Start saying no.
“If you can’t develop this skill then finding your ideal partner will be a very long painful process.”
Improve your life
Finally, Jake stresses the importance of seeing ghosting as a positive, as it can massively improve your life.
Jake concluded: “Lastly, you don’t owe that person anything.
“You went on one date with them. That’s not a promise of anything more.
“The dating process is about you as an individual finding your ideal partner.
“Don’t look at ghosting as a negative, it’s actually a positive.
“There are a lot of people in your life you probably should ghost now, like your bad friend, your toxic ex, your unhealthy family member.
“Ghost them all and find and create relationships that actually improve your life.”