A mom was praised online after sharing that her brother and fiancee claimed their wedding was child-free, disinviting her daughter, but letting other kids attend.
The 30-year-old mom shared her dilemma on Reddit, writing that her older brother married in July to someone she was always friendly with. Her post gained more than 7,000 votes, with the comments alone receiving over 10,000.
According to The Knot, child-free weddings have some clear “do’s” and “don’ts.” The wedding site suggests couples “properly and carefully address” wedding invitations with each and every name of adults that are invited, to miss out on any confusion that invites could be for the whole family, children included.
However, The Knot recommends that couples don’t print “Adults Only” on the invitations, but more importantly that they don’t make it an “Adults-Mostly” reception, where some kids are given an exception while others aren’t allowed. .
When plans for the big day began, it was decided that the Redditor’s daughter, named Lily, would be a flower girl and later that the mom would be maid of honor.
The poster wrote: “A few weeks before the wedding, Brittany came to my house to talk to me. She explained that her family had raised concerns about kids attending the wedding and Brittany/James have decided to make the ceremony child-free but that Lily was more than welcome to come to the reception.
“I tell her something along the lines of ‘okay, it’s your wedding. I love my brother so I’ll do whatever he asks of me’,” the mom wrote in the post.
Brittany and James then made a huge mistake in their plans, after allowing the bride’s nieces to attend the ceremony. “Fast forward to the rehearsal, we line up and everything is going as expected until Brittany’s three nieces walk in as junior bridesmaids. I’m confused and slightly annoyed but whatever,” wrote the mom.
A later conversation with her brother revealed to the mom that only Lily wasn’t invited, The bride feared she would “accidentally ruin” the wedding with a temper tantrum, hence the “child-free wedding” cover-up lie.
“The day of the wedding Brittany asks where Lily is and why she wasn’t there while we got ready. I explained that she is with a friend and will be at the reception later.
“Brittany then says she’s going to call so Lily can be brought over for the pictures because people will ask why she’s missing in pictures and it will make her look bad. I told her she can call but my friend knows the situation and won’t come until I ask her to,” wrote the mom.
“She then asked what they’re supposed to tell people when they look at photos and ask where Lily is. I said to tell them that she wasn’t invited since she has too many temper tantrums,” the Redditor added. An argument ensued between the pair, leaving the wedding as “awkward to say the least.”
After the wedding photos were sent in a family group chat, there were questions about the daughter’s whereabouts. With the mom deciding to tell the truth about the situation, some family members dubbed the bridge “petty” for deciding to keep Lily out of them.
Redditors, however, were left both shocked and outraged by the bride’s actions on the day. “The bride and groom made their choices clear. Who comes and who doesn’t is their choice. Nobody else’s,” wrote one user.
“They’re trying to have their cake and eat it too – make it seem like the kids were warmly welcomed when in fact Lily was coldly excluded,” the Redditor added.
“Personally I think you’ve done perfectly. Just explain the situation and tell your brother you understand and forgive him for misleading you about Lily but you understand he has bigger problems than you, and if he needs to talk to someone you’ll always be there.”
Another Redditor wrote: “She got her wish. Lily was not at the wedding and was at the reception. Which is why sometimes we have to be careful what we wish for. The photos represent things perfectly.”
“Your child is not a prop,” wrote one commenter. “I think you were remarkably polite.”
Newsweek reached out to u/Throw-away92222 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.