6 Truths About Men I Learned After Breaking Off My Engagement


When I was 21, I proposed actual marriage to an actual human man, a guy I had been dating for a year and a half and loved enthusiastically.

Two and a half years later, several months before the wedding, I left. Here’s why.

First, because we weren’t right for each other.

Second, because I was young and didn’t understand that he was different than me in more than just the pants region.

It was a powerful learning experience that caused me to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about men.

Attitudes that were frankly adversarial, which I had unknowingly internalized, melted away, and I realized that men are amazing, and relationships with them can be joyful and transformative.

Now that I know these things, I’m able to sustain a happy relationship long-term. So learn from my mistakes, reader! I ended an engagement so you don’t have to.

RELATED: Why I’m Divorcing My Pregnant Wife

What I learned about men after breaking off my engagement:

1. Men need to adore their partners.

Literally. Adore. You.

By ‘adore’, I mean that the man in your life needs (not just wants, but needs) to be your hero, provide for you, give you everything you want, and more, to fill your life with joy.

This is absolutely transformative and elevating for everyone involved.

When you’re able to be receptive to this, you’ll discover firsthand that you deserve profound love and appreciation. And it will allow your man to be vulnerable and acknowledge that he has many worthwhile things to give… even if he’s believed otherwise.



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