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It’s important to remember that, in any relationship, the effort is not always 50/50. Sometimes, someone could be going through something and so the other person will put in 70/30 temporarily.
It all depends on what you’re each going through.
Regardless, if there are signs he consistently doesn’t offer a balanced effort into a relationship — especially when one party is always giving 30 percent — you should re-evaluate your relationship.
Here are 16 signs he isn’t putting enough effort into your relationship:
1. You’re the only one asking about him and his life.
You have a genuine interest, but he doesn’t do the same for you.
2. He only says “I love you” after you say it first.
Otherwise, he never says it or expresses it.
3. He stopped trying to impress you.
He gives you no compliments, doesn’t flirt with you, and puts in minimal effort.
4. He’ll only agree to see you if it fits into his schedule.
So you end up having to alter yours to fit his.
5. You always pick and suggest dates.
Once you’re on one and he doesn’t enjoy himself, he usually complains about it the whole time.
6. He never wants to hang out with his friends or family.
And he has no interest in even creating a connection with them.
7. He’s selfish during sex.
He makes you do all the work, while you rarely receive or do what feels good for you.
8. He doesn’t care about his appearance anymore.
Even if you’re celebrating a special occasion, he puts in no effort.
9. Sometimes, he comes off as rude to your friends.
You’ll notice he may act out of character compared to how he treats you when you two are alone. After a while, it might start to not sit right with you.
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10. He doesn’t always text you first.
And he relies on you to keep the conversation going.
11. He doesn’t remember significant dates.
He doesn’t remember events like birthdays or anniversaries. He might not even get you a gift, either.
12. He doesn’t always pay for things.
He usually expects you to be the one who picks up the tab.
13. He always wants you to drive, cook and do everything.
Instead of him splitting the effort, he prefers that you do all the work.
14. He doesn’t share much with you.
Whether it’s closet space, sweaters, food, or even information, he keeps it to himself. It’s always separate between you two.
15. He conveniently “forgets” to tell you things.
It could be about a party he’s going to, a friend you’ve never heard of, or a fight he had with his boss.
16. He shows zero interest in taking your relationship further.
There’s rarely any mention of moving in together or getting married, and you don’t ever get signs that you’ll stay together long-term.
Laziness in any relationship is the farthest thing from being attractive. For most of those things listed, you should be splitting the responsibilities pretty equally at different times in your relationship.
And if there are signs he has a lack of interest within your relationship in general, that’s another huge sign that he just really doesn’t want to be in a serious, committed relationship.
It’s hard to come to terms with the truth, but you should pay attention to these minor details. It could save you a lot of time and heartbreak.
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Brittany Christopoulos is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.
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