Gustavo Cerati says the ability to say goodbye is growingwhich is true, but we don’t know when we can let someone go and when the relationship will run its course, in the end we have to let that person go. And since it can be hard to know when it’s time to let goNot to mention how to do it, we asked relationship experts. That’s what he had to say.
Letting someone go means cutting off communication between you and that person.According to marriage and family therapist Shelley Pollard. Even if you’ve always had a place in your heart for that person and you love them unconditionally, when you realize that person isn’t really right for you, you have to accept them.
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This acceptance is giving up. Understandably, you are better off without this person being able to reach you right away, if they can reach you at all. And from this acceptance site, you can release the attention and energy you were giving that person. And putting it into things that really bring you peace and joy.
Whether you’ve been broken up or feeling down That you’re about to finally give up on that person is never going to be easy. Even when that is your decision, there is still an open wound that will take time to heal, according to marriage and family therapist, Tiana Leeds.
You don’t feel safe physically or emotionally
Leeds told him that abuse should not be tolerated, so if there was any kind of abuse in the relationship, whether it was physical, emotional and/or verbal, that was an important signal to let that person go. Sometimes abuse can be hard to recognize, or you may not feel like things are “too bad.” When in doubt, Leeds says to keep two things in mind in particular: “If you feel like you’re walking off a cliff when you’re with your partner, it’s time to think about leaving the relationship. And if you’re not feeling secure with your partner, both emotionally and physically, it’s time to consider leaving the relationship.” to end the relationship.”
You always make excuses
According to clinical psychologist Perpetua Neo, it is not uncommon to experience rose-tinted glasses with objects of our affection, and this can continually lead to justification of unforgivable behaviors. “People say things to me like, ‘He’s not a full-fledged narcissist,’ and then I ask, ‘Does he really need to be a full-fledged narcissist before you go?’ Because if you expect it, go for mass destruction.”
Even on the less extreme end, New says, you can experience “selective memory” or “confirmation bias,” rarely remembering the bad times and focusing only on the short good times. “If that’s happening and it’s preventing you from getting an objective point of view, that’s very dangerous for you,” he adds.
You don’t like who you are around
Ask yourself if you really like who you are with this person or if you really are. Neo points out that if you change your normal behavior into a flattering one to keep the peace, this is a sign that this person is not good for you.
They drain your energy
In addition to the way you act and behave towards this person, it is also a good idea to take stock of how you feel. Leeds explains that feelings of general embarrassment or feeling tired after spending time with them indicate that it is best to leave the relationship. You fear their presence or feel like you need enough time to recharge after being around them, they definitely drain you and your energy.
I passed them
Sometimes, even if a relationship isn’t unhealthy or toxic, we get over it. It can be hard to walk away from this because the relationship may be comfortable or “good”. Neo says a fair amount of honesty with yourself is needed because there can be a lot of guilt in letting go.
“Some people choose not to grow up or choose to stagnate or become something else. And if you’re looking to grow, it’s inevitable, we get past people, even those we love, and sometimes other people who don’t see us growing.” I don’t feel happy about it.” Whether this person is trying to sabotage your growth, or you don’t feel that you are on the same upward path, you need to ask yourself if this person is going to be conducive to the life you seek in the long run. And if they aren’t Well, it is time to go.
There are more bad times than good
Bottom line, if a relationship causes more problems than anything else, what’s the point? Leeds told him, “When you fight most of the time, it’s time to think about leaving. And if a relationship has never been good, even in the best of times, you’ll probably be more than happy to leave.”
Keep reading: Signs that what you’re feeling isn’t true love